Parenting is not an easy task and there is no manual as to what and when to say something to your kids. However, it is very easy to say something that the kids can interpret in a negative manner. You may not realize it but children do take everything in a literal sense. Whatever you say would in a way build their personality, so a check on whatever you say. Here are few things that you should never ever say to your kids:
- WHY CANT YOU BE MORE LIKE YOUR BROTHER/SISTER
Each child is special in his own way. Do not compare any activity or behavior with their siblings’. This will only create negativity between them, which can remain for the lifetime. The comparison is not a rational one and no good would come out of it.
- SHUT UP
Shut up is a very strong phase. Be careful not to use it for your kids. They would get a feeling that you are not interested in what they have to say and eventually stop sharing certain things with you. Also, they would start saying this to others.
- WAIT TILL YOUR FATHER/MOTHER GETS HOME
This will only make them vary of the other parent and also would make them anxious. This would mean that you are complaining about your child and his behavior to your partner. Handle it yourself. Saying this to your child would make him fear your spouse.
- I AM ASHAMED OF YOU
Surely you are not ashamed of your child. Instead tell him how proud you are of him and motivate them. This statement will only make them feel useless, incapable and unmotivated. If they have failed in something or not met your expectations, teach them better and make them feel they can do much better.
- DON’T TALK TO ME
This would make your child rejected. Instead talk to them and act as a friend with them. This statement would make your child think you are not interested in what you have to say and would distance them from you. Instead, tell them that they can talk to you in detail and you will help them overcome the problem.
- THAT’S NOT WHAT I EXPECTED FROM YOU
Let them be and don’t expect them to exceed or fulfill your every expectation. As a parent, you will sure be having some expectations from them but expecting that they would fulfill each one, is not fair. Let them learn from their mistakes and failures and be by their side when they couldn’t do it for you.
- YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME
Let your kids do whatever they want to. Don’t restrict them or criticize them. If they are not good at something, don’t ever tell them they are wasting their time. Let them learn. But make sure, you are by their side to help them and guide them. Never tell them it’s not going to work out, let them try. They should not feel their parents don’t support them.
- GIRLS/BOYS DON’T DO THIS
Don’t create gender-biased rules for your kid. Let them decide for themselves. They may be curious about something and let them explore.